Going all the way by Craig Groeschel – A Review

I typically don’t do great book reviews, more of this rules, this sucks kind of things without really diving into the ‘meat of the matter’ too hard. But when the chance came to get a free book if I would read it and blog about it. How could I say no? There is something about getting free stuff that just rocks!

Now, I have a great marriage. That has everything to do with the fact that I somehow won the lottery of a lifetime or something and was blessed enough to find the most amazing woman to think that it might be an acceptable idea to hang out and spend the rest of life with a bum like me. But there are always things that I can learn and improve on.

I thought this is going to be easy, I will get the book buzz through it real quick and then give it a ‘this sucks’ or ‘this rules’ type of a review and that would be it. But when Going All The Way came, this weight of responsibility really dropped heavy. I really felt like I had been handed a really important document and I had better take good care of it and give it it’s due or I would be short changing everything American or something. And I started to think about the fact that marriage is just like everything else that is important in life, you are only going to get out of it what you put in, and you can always improve and get better. At least I can.

When I first started this book I thought, big font size and it seems pretty easy reading, this is going to be a piece of cake. The fact of the matter is, this book is easy reading and flows nicely but it isn’t cotton candy.

This book has ‘jump out’ points that really grabbed me, for example in the introduction Craig states that this path is going to be different and it is going to be hard. The reason for that is: Minor adjustments produce marginal result. If that isn’t a ton of bricks statement! I often will feel like I might be slipping a little bit and getting lazy in our relationship and think I will just tweak this a little over here, and then wonder why the results are only minor. Hmmmm…….

The first chapter takes a good hard swing at the myth of “The One” person. I have to admit that this whole thing that really stuck in my gizzard as well. There are billions of people in the world and if there is that one perfect person for me what are the odds that they will actually be anywhere near me? But yet there is this feeling that there should be someone out there that will be that perfect match. Craig makes the case that this isn’t a person but instead a God shaped hole that we all have in our lives – single or married. And we have to get that figured out before we can then pursue ‘Number two’ – future mate.

Craig then dives into laying a really strict moral baseline for dating. When I first read it, I was like, ‘right – there is no way’. But if you think about it we tend to spend most of our time trying to see how far to the edge we can get, which can be quite traumatic when it is done in relationships so it would make sense to create a large buffer zone so that something stupid doesn’t happen that you will regret later in life.

For a book on marriage and relationships, Craig spends a good deal of time talking about breaking up. At first it would seem to go contrary to relationships – but just look around you, there are tons of people in really crappy relationships all over the place. It makes me wonder why people put up with such junk from others? Is it that we are scared that this is the only person that will ever show any attention to us or is it something else? There is a lot of truth to the point that if you are in a bad relationship you will be distracted so much that if someone did come by you wouldn’t even notice – so kick that bum to the curb and move on.

Another topic that Craig spends a good chunk of time on is guilt and regrets. I think everyone deals with these feelings about our lives and they are only intensified when they are connected to our relationships with others. There are some real helpful steps and tips to work through that stuff in here.

Then we move on to intimacy. What it means and how to cultivate it in a relationship. The statement that knocked me over the head was the thought that intimacy should be said “into me see”. That it is only when we drop the charades, the masks, the misdirection plays and really allow another to see into us that intimacy can happen. While that is easy to say, it is sure a bugger to try and pull off. My masks are so easy to put on and to remove them it is kind of like Jim Carry in the movie The Mask – they like to stay on. You really have to pry to get them off.

There is also some great advice about watching out for common lies and emotional potholes that seem to fill relationships. For a more in depth information I would read the For Men Only or For Women Only books by Shaunti Feldhahn.

If you have stayed with me thus far the overall conclusion is this: This is a really good book about relationships and I highly recommend it! I am also going to go through this book with my kids when they get a little older.